Research Journal Entry 7 – More on Revision

Choose one of the following revision strategies and complete it either on notebook paper or in a word processor and print it.  Whether handwritten or typed, you will turn in this revision strategy, along with the two that you completed last week, when you turn in the 2nd draft of your research essay this week.

Revision Strategy Option 1:  Reorganizing Around Thesis and Support
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• Locate your thesis and underline it, or if your thesis is not yet completely clear, write a revised thesis now.  If your thesis is not yet located near the end of your introductory paragraphs, place it there now.
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• Look at each paragraph or section of your essay individually, as if they stood on their own, and find the topic sentence for that paragraph or section.  If no topic sentence is present, write one now.  If you have taken more than one paragraph to develop an idea, make sure that the topic is somehow restated in the paragraphs that follow.
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• For each topic sentence that you have either located or written, ask yourself whether or not the relationship between the topic sentence and the thesis is clear.  On a separate sheet of paper, write a sentence or two that describes the relationship between this topic and your thesis.  By the end of this exercise, you will develop an outline of your sub-topics with explanations of how each relates to your thesis. Compare each freshly written description of the relationships between your sub-topics and your thesis with the topic sentences that you have identified as already present in your essay and make revisions to your draft as needed.
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• Next, ask yourself if the details present in each section or paragraph adequately support either your existing topic sentence or your freshly revised topic sentence.  If so, include a brief statement in your outline that states that you have adequate support.  If not, explain what kinds of details you need to add to each paragraph or section in order to fully support the topic.  Also note where those details will come from.  Do you have the sources you need or will you need to do a little more research?
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• Finally, in this process, you may have noted that some paragraphs are too short and either need to be expanded upon or combined with others, or you may have noted that some paragraphs are too long and need to be broken up (and perhaps a new topic sentence or transition needs to be written as you create a new paragraph).  Include any notes and make any plans regarding the restructuring or reorganization of paragraphs.
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Revision Strategy Option 2:  Cut & Paste Revision (aka “The Frankenstein Draft”)
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See the explanation of this strategy on page 231 in our text (exercise 5.4).  This strategy is a particularly good one if you feel that the order in which you have presented ideas in your essay might need some serious reorganization.  If you’re not sure, try it!  You might be suprised what happens with your essay as a result.  One situation where this revision strategy might not be particularly useful is with an essay that is arranged chronologically (for example, if an essay covers a historical topic).  It’s up to you which strategy you try, but I will say that cutting apart your draft, as this strategy calls for, can be a lot of fun, and it’s pretty exciting to see the new draft take shape, right before your eyes, liberated from its old form!
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Posting a reflection on one of this week’s strategies:
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Choose one of the two revision strategies that I assigned this week to discuss for this entry. 

• First, identify the focus of the strategy for others who will read this post.  Does the revision strategy focus on revising for purpose (thesis), meaning (main ideas), or information (sources and supporting details)?
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• Provide the title of the revision strategy (e.g. “Reorganizing Around Thesis and Support”). 
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• Provide at least two interesting, surprising, or helpful developments that arose from this exercise.   Be specific.  If these exercises of reorganization, restructuring, and evaluating your support helped you view your essay in a new way, or if you found something lacking in your essay that still requires some serious attention, whatever you learned about your essay as a result of this exercise, write about it here and explain why it was particularly surprising, interesting, or helpful.  Be sure that your examples relate directly to the revision of your essay and that you are specific.
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• Take some time to project or predict how your essay will be changed as a result of this exercise.  This is a revision strategy, so in other words, in the coming weeks, during your final revision process, explain how you will apply the results of this exercise as you draft the final version of your essay.  Be specific, and really discuss how this final version of your essay will differ from the current version as a result of employing this strategy.

Comment on two of your classmates’ posts from last week:

Finally, comment on two of your classmates’ posts from last week (Entry 6, the first post on our first set of revision strategies).  Read their reflections.  Find some similarities and some differences in your individual experiences regarding revision, and try to post a helpful word or two of advice.  Don’t forget to paste the URLs from your comments at the bottom of your post for this week.

Research Journal Entry 6 – The Revision Process

Choose one of the two revision strategies that I assigned this week to discuss for this entry. 

• First, identify the focus of the strategy for others who will read this post.  Does the revision strategy focus on revising for purpose (thesis), meaning (main ideas), or information (sources and supporting details)?
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• Provide the title of the revision strategy (e.g. “Questions as Knives”) and briefly summarize what the exercise asked you to do.
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• Provide at least two interesting, surprising, or helpful developments that arose from this exercise.   Be specific.  If there was a specific question that you developed that helped you view your essay in a new way, or a gap that you found in your research, whatever you learned about your essay as a result of this exercise, write about it here and explain why it was particularly surprising, interesting, or helpful.  Please provide at least two specific examples of something that you learned or something useful that arose from this exercise.
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• Take some time to project or predict how your essay will be changed as a result of this exercise.  This is a revision strategy, so in other words, in the coming week, during your revision process, explain how you will apply the results of this exercise as you draft the next version of your essay.  Be specific, and really discuss how this future version of your essay will differ from the current version as a result of employing this strategy.

Comment on two of your classmates’ posts from last week:

Finally, comment on two of your classmates’ posts from last week (the Classical Arrangement post).  Read their outlines.  Comment on what you feel to be the strongest part of their plan, and make one suggestion.  Don’t forget to paste the URLs from your comments at the bottom of your post for this week.

Research Journal Entry 5 – The Classically Arranged Essay

First, visit at least two of your classmates’ posts from last week (Exercise 4.3, “Three Ways In”) and comment on their post by stating which of their three reviews that you like best and why.  Be sure to clearly state why you think this is the best of their three leads, and remember that, according to classical arrangement, you’re looking for the lead that has the best “attention grabbing” value.

Second, use the classical arrangement handout to help develop your own classical arrangement outline and post that outline for this week’s entry (entry 5) to your research blog.  When you read the handout, you will notice that there are two portions of the classical arrangement outline assignment that are optional.  I want you to at least consider the optional parts of the outline (statement of division and rebuttal) and include some ideas or a plan for these sections.  In the least, I would like to see a statement regarding why these sections are not relevant or practical for your essay.

Week 6

On Tuesday, we met in the computer lab.  Students turned in their essays, and then we discussed peer review, wrote answers to the “author” questions (see the peer review assignment for details), and then exchanged essays for review.  Once you have answered the “Questions for Authors”, attached them to your essay, and exchanged with a classmate, you need to read your classmates’ essay and answer the “Questions for Reviewers” by next week (check the course calendar for details regarding the due date).

On Thursday, we discussed audience, purpose, and voice.  We began class by discussing when it might be appropriate to use first-person in academic writing and when it’s best to avoid it.  Here’s a helpful handout on this subject that I found from the Writing Center at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

After discussing the advantages and disadvantages of using first-person in academic writing, we moved on to discuss the use of second-person, for which there is much less tolerance in the academic setting.  Our discussion of second person also sparked a discussion on appropriate pronoun usage in academic essays and we ended class by discussing the importance of avoiding clichés.  I had also wanted to get to a discussion of active and passive voice in writing (which we only touched on briefly).  Here’s a peek at what we covered in this discussion of first and second person and clichés, along with some notes on what I had planned to cover regarding passive versus active voice.

Research Journal Entry 4 – Three Ways In

Review pages 183 through 186.  Complete exercise 4.3 (step one).  Please note that you do not have to write three long introductions for this exercise; rather, Ballenger asks you to write three leads.  Notice that the example provided in the text provides three leads and all are fairly short (around 6 to 8 sentences).  Next week, your classmates will comment on your leads and which they like the best.

When you’ve completed step one of exercise 4.3, read at least two of your classmates’ posts from last week (exercise 4.2, “Reclaiming Your Topic).  Step five of this exercise asked writers to get into a dialog on their topic.  Try to spot your classmates’ dialogs and join in.  If you can’t find the dialog, simply insert your own (on your classmate’s topic, of course).  You can keep this brief:  four to six sentences.  Questions are fine, but include some answers or statements too.